A contribution story from our reader- David

My son is Arthur Loh Eexy, 3 months old.

I was exciting and can't wait for baby to come when my wife pregnant, but after she delivered, things changed totally It makes my life totally up side down.

let talk about it point by point.

Before i became a father, I take my freedom for granted, I can hang around with friend anytime anywhere, I'm fully control my time, my lifestyle and more. After i became a father, my time is fully controlled by this tiny little baby, no more night life for me, because i need to take care of my baby and everytime when plan for any outing, i have to consider will it  clash with the baby's nap time, what is the best timing to go shopping  etc The worse is, when everytime we goes out, i need to spend lot of time to prepare the baby stuff, and almost 90% of my belonging is the baby things. You can imagine me as a bird who suddenly lost his wings, this can what i felt.

At night,no longer I can enjoy sweet dreams but rather i have to wake up every two hours to feed the baby. A long continuous sleep becomes a luxury to me.

Emotionally, because wife is spend more time and attention to baby, so my physical and emotional needs are not meet. Sometime  when i will talk to my wife about my need we ended up in a fight because she always complains that she is already tired with the baby and I am still giving her a difficult time….

The worse is when the baby cries. I need to guess what is his need, from milk feeds, diaper changing , giving a pacifier to  a warm hug. If he still happens to be crying, then my wife will question why I cannot stop him from crying with an unfriendly tone. Sometimes my wife will questioned "you don't look like you love your baby." Ya, sometimes I think I do not really love my baby as much as mummy does, because baby was in mummy's womb for 9 mths, so she actually get to know the baby for longer time, but I just have 3 months relationship with him, so it really takes time for daddy to develop a deeper relationship with baby.

Basically, parenting to me is truly a nightmare.

But after sometimes, when i gradually got used to my "new lifestyle", things changed. When I forced myself to spend time with my baby, i realise that I've received this incredible love. I have since developed a deeper relationship with my baby, and I am truly enjoying it, because I know the love from my baby is true and unconditional. Especially when I feel down or tired from work, at least I know someone is waiting for me at home. waiting for my love and waiting to be loved.

Everytime when I feel tired of my life, my son's smile makes me feel that all my hardship is worthwhile. He melts my heart, and I begins to appreciate the gift from God. I understand that whatever hard time he puts on my shoulder is because he want me to taste the sweetest of the sweet.