When Ashley arrived on the very first day, my dedicated midwife advised that I should start breastfeeding her immediately. I stared at my breast and wondered if they would really produce milk for my baby. With the help of the midwife, I managed to express some cleared liquid which I learnt was Colostrum [First flow of breast milk]. Though small in amount, this tiny flow of liquid was the most nutritious food a newborn would ever need.

Three days after I have delivered Ashley, I was still not discharged from the maternity ward. This is due to me not producing sufficient milk and hence not mastered the skill of breastfeeding yet. The midwives wanted to ensure that I would be able to feed Ashley well once I get back to home, hence they have decided to keep me longer in the maternity ward till my flow of milk regulate and when I was more comfortable with breastfeeding.

After day three, my supply of breastmilk increased and I was relieved that I was producing more milk then. My first feed wasn’t a pleasant one though. As I guided my baby girl towards my nipple, she didn’t know how to suckle, hence it was a long struggle before I finally got her latched on. Now, nobody ever shared with me that breastfeeding wasn’t painfree! I got a shocking sting at my nipple when Ashley has gotten her first ‘bite’ to devour the milk. I didn’t know if I should pull her away from my breast or put up with the pain. After a few seconds I decided to pull her away as I found the pain unbearable. I consulted the midwife in my ward and she encouraged me to practice more so that I would be able to latch my baby on without feeling the pain.

The subsequent feeds were not a bed of roses. I have to put up a fight with my baby each time as she will yell out loud whenever she is hungry. This meant that I had to quickly latch her on correctly so that she would be fed quickly in order for her not to cry any longer.

I thought the end of the delivery was the end of all the pain.

How wrong I was. It was the beginning of a series of new pain. When I started breastfeeding, I could feel the pain in my abdominal. My gynae visited me in the ward explained that it was my uterus shrinking after I have delivered my baby, hence I would be feeling some discomfort in my tummy.

Apart from the discomfort of my tummy and pain from breastfeeding, I couldn’t walk properly due to the stitches on my perineum. My mum did warned me about not pushing too hard during constipation as it would cause the stitches to come off. I was so paranoid that i didn’t dare to visit the restroom for the initial couple of days. Some how I experienced a bad backache as well and I was wondering if that was the effect of having an epidural. I consulted my gynae and he explained it was due to my body adjusting without the weight of my baby. As if all these pain were not bad enough, when I finally got discharged from the maternity ward, I thought I can take a good rest and recuperate from all those sufferings.

I realized the body pain were not the worst thing that can happen to me.

My baby loved my cuddle and wanted me to hold her the whole time, including night time. Whenever I put her on the bed or in the cot, she would wake up immediately and cried for my attention. My last resort was to let her sleep between me and her daddy, while still holding her by my side. Alas she did fell asleep but woke up within the next three hours and cried for a feed.

This went on for the past 2 months during my confinement. I was fortunate to have my parents inlaw come over to stay with us and help us with the household chores while I focus on looking after Ashley. As my baby has spent a lot of time with me, she doesn’t allow even her daddy to carry her now. On one hand I was quite devastated of her being so sticky to me, other the other hand, I felt great that I was the only one who could pacify my baby!

Time passes too soon and Ashley would be turning 3 months old soon. I am still persisting with breastfeeding as it is less painful now and my darling knows how to get latched on more easily. In fact, whenever I get on her a breastfeeding position, she helps herself to my nipple. Her dad jokes that Ashley is having self-service to her buffet of milk now. My mum in law sewed a sarong cloth so that I can put Ashley to sleep in there while I get hands-free moments to do some personal things.

All the body pain are gone by the 2^nd month of confinement. No doubt it is never easy for any mummies in the beginning, it is true that things do get better! Welcome to motherhood!